The Meaning of Tokyo University and Why am I a Child with an Affair Behind a Dirty Room

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[Introduction]
I dropped out of Tokyo University of the Arts and passed University of Tokyo in the following year. I was often praised by adults since I was a child, but now that I am an adult, I am bewildered because I cannot do "normal" things that I can do around me.
I was seen as an honor student, but in fact I was an unstable mother and lived in a dirty room with more than 60 cm of trash on the floor.
My father had no doubts when I was a child, but when I think about it now, he was a mysterious person because I was not in his family register.